Yesterday I took the fifth exam in this seven exam stretch, and it was certainly the hardest one to prepare for, and not particularly fun to take. I felt very good about my preparation levels and recall ability on about 90% of the test, but the other 10% was a big, flustery mess and I ran out of time at the end, and will likely have to retake it. I was a little frustrated afterwards, but I brushed it off and am ready to dive into the next one. I’m telling myself these last two should be easier, and willing myself to find the energy and the stamina to get through them.
I really, really miss writing here. I wish I could be some sort of super woman and find the time to continue to post regularly in this space. There are many, many things I’d like to be doing right now other than test prep, but I’m forcing myself to really focus on the basics right now. We are trying to continue to eat well, exercise when we are able, spend time with the girls, catch up occasionally with friends and the laundry and the bills. I’ve gotten really good at studying while doing other things – flashcards at the park, during soccer games, at ballet class. E and I work side by side on our test problems, and occasionally she calls out a few flashcards for me. We are making it work, but sometimes just barely. Sometimes I’m just so tired and my head is so full that the words that come out of my mouth don’t make sense and everyone laughs. Sometimes I start to write a post like this and I’m just so exhausted I don’t even know how to neatly tie up the ending. I should just let it be that. This is what it is, and I’m giving my all at reading and walking at the same time.