We watched those white balloons released into the air on Saturday and I posed the question “How do those parents bear it?” Was it not clear that it was rhetorical? That I did not need the answer?

I described the gentle lapping of the grief tides this year. Was that not enough? I did not need to feel the crash of the surf to understand the power of the waves.

I ran yesterday, up a long, long hill, fighting against the fears in my stomach. On the return trip, the setting sun lit up a red tree on a hill in the distance. I called it burning bush; her mother liked the photo. I did not need a fire on a hill. Did you not know I wanted to speak to you on my terms, and no closer? 

I spoke of names in so many words without actually naming any. I spread her name far and wide and we all bounced it back with unceasing prayers. We called her name a thousand times so that you would not call it. Were we not clear enough, not loud enough?

We thought if we did not speak your name, you would not come.

8 Responses to uninvited

  1. My thoughts are with those who are hurting right now. Ira

  2. Sending you and yours healing hugs and thoughts of peace.

  3. “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

  4. I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and yours.

  5. So very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God’s peace.

  6. I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  7. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

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