I am running on fumes these days, but there are bright spots in the midst of all the chaos. I am very busy at work, with no end in sight to that for awhile. I am very busy at home, deep diving with M into the thousand layers of this house project. I am very busy with a dozen other things – many that bring me great joy and restore my faith in humanity, but that also mean that the slivers of free time that I have lately are usually filled with me making to-do lists, and then scratching them off again.
I cannot write coherently about my utter contempt and disdain for this current administration. I held out hope until midday last Friday that it might not really happen. It has. I am doing my best not to be caught up in the outrage of the hour – as my father has wisely suggested that I avoid – but it is also important to remain connected and engaged and focused, so I’m doing that to the best of my ability on top of all of these other things. There’s no time to sit back and be complacent. But it turns my stomach as well, and the stress filters into so many areas of my life.
I hope to return to this writing space again soon, maybe even by this weekend. I’ve missed it. But bouncing between these various things – house and home and family, to politics and activism and threats to our core values – leaves me spinning and tongue-tied at the moment. I’m not sure where to go from here.
Posted in general
It’s gray here, and icy. We’re under an ice storm warning, and almost everything is closed – all the schools, a lot of the businesses. M and I are working from home, and the girls made their own schedules for the day. E and F are now playing jointly – from 11:40-noon, and I don’t hear any bickering. So far, so good. According to their schedule I have a break at 12:10 – an appointment with a stack of girl scout badges and a hot iron. There seem to be numerous snack breaks on the paper as well. Whatever gets us through.
This image is getting me through at the moment. I’m nearing the point where the light returns again – at least long enough to squeeze in some short runs after work. I’m trying to be patient, to flex those indoor muscles while I wait. It’s paying off, I can feel it. A few weeks ago I mastered a difficult head stand pose; I’ve never had the kind of upper body strength that I have now. Last night I was able to raise and lower myself in a what resembles a vertical, inverted series of crunches, for a dozen times before I had to return to the ground. When I started physical therapy three years ago, I could not touch my toes without bending my knees. I was tasked with tiny exercises for my feet, but I knew that commitment needed to eventually extend to the rest of me. That decision has changed me in ways that I could never have imagined or predicted.
In a few weeks I’ll flip back over, finding the ground beneath my feet again, stretching in new ways for a new year. I haven’t set any specific goals for running or strength training or yoga this year, outside of enjoying the practice. Chasing the light on a regular basis, and introducing it to our home in new ways. Those are my resolutions for this year.
Big day coming up – January 20th. And I’m not talking about the inauguration, I’m talking about a distraction from it. The 20th is the day we hand over so much of our work to someone else. (Choirs of angels singing.)
We are tired, and it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. I will be largely absent here between now and then, and largely absent from my bed as well. I’m already yawning through everything, but I’m excited too. And stressed. But mostly excited. Until five minutes from now when I will again be mostly stressed.
I’m looking forward to sharing many more details soon, but for now, I thought I’d let you guys do the writing work for me! I’d love to know something that you would love to have in your kitchen – maybe something you’d do if you had more room or would tackle in a future renovation. Or it could be something you already have now that you couldn’t live without.
Here are two things to get the ball rolling:
Don’t laugh, but I want to install a large paper roll / cutter like this on the wall of the kitchen. Maybe even more than one. Not to write lovely menus on the wall – although that’s adorable, but I really would love a giant roll of parchment paper mounted like that. I guess I could write on it occasionally, but it would really be for using. I love the natural colored parchment paper, and use it for baking, roasting, wrapping, covering, etc. I put a roll in my shopping cart every three weeks.
And pot rails. Cue the pot rails. I can’t wait.
Sneak peek at the range as well.