Last Saturday turned into some kind of vortex that sucked us into flurry of activity and decision making and financial outlay that made my head spin. We returned home just before midnight with a new car, collapsed into bed around 1:30 am, woke sometime later to a huge spring storm with intense winds and hail (that I was convinced was going to crush said new car), and we’ve been trying to catch our breath ever since. At some point midweek I realized that this blog never even crossed my mind over that weekend, but several things have been percolating in there since then. Having trouble deciding where to land. Here are a few things I’ve been bouncing around in my third story:
Food – access / planning / health / privilege
Aging – agility vs. fragility / forehead creases / privilege
Notre Dame – collective grief / architecture – history / complicated church feelings / what we mourn – what we miss / Western bias / privilege
Travel – summary of spring break trip / new history / surprises / complicated feelings about the South / privilege
Air Travel Anxiety – where I was / what I did / how it worked / (likely some privilege in there as well – can you tell I’m deep in that thread as I work my way through my current Witnessing Whiteness sessions?)
Over the course of the week, anytime I’ve had some time alone to think, I’ve been churning through a lot of thoughts on all of these things. But just when my head starts to settle into the discussion, I get distracted by all the SPRING.
My attention span is ridiculously short these days. As soon as I can get outdoors, I’m there, marveling in everything that is unraveling. A few times this week I’ve started crying while I’m running. It starts as a giant grin on my face, and the next thing I know my cheeks are wet and my eyes are watering and I just feel like a different sort of oxygen is pumping through my body.
Last night I stayed up way too late working on several things I was behind on, and then I missed my sleepy period and was wide awake for several hours after everyone else had gone to bed. This morning my alarm went off, and I was so tempted to just shut it off for good, and sleep in another hour until my yoga class.
I hit the snooze button and kept my eyes closed and thought about it some more. I convinced myself the sleep was important, and I set a new alarm for an hour later. And the sun streamed in, and I could hear the sounds of the birds outside, and I flopped around in the bed for a few more minutes until I couldn’t stand it anymore. It’s spring, and I just want to be in the middle of it. I turned off the alarm clock and rushed around to catch up on my time.
So the other items can wait a little longer. The day has caught up with me, the sun and the wind and the exercise has worn me out. I’m ready for bed, but E’s begging me to watch a Gilmore Girls episode with her. I’ll curl up next to her and drift off while we’re watching, I’m sure. M and F fell asleep while reading – we all need the extra zzzz’s.
Instead of more words I have more pictures. I couldn’t decide. I’ve uploaded almost all of them, taken over the past two weeks. I know I say this every year, but it all happens so fast. First it’s slow, until it’s not, and then who can sleep when there is so much gorgeousness out there to discover?
The words can wait. Spring can’t.