Category Archives: general

saturday (tired)

It’s been two weeks since I was last here, and I didn’t even realize that I missed last Saturday. I worked for two weeks straight, including the holiday and the weekend. I must have just moved into auto-pilot mode for awhile, and kept most of the processing of things in my own headspace.

I’m in a much better place than I was two weeks ago. My parents returned from an overseas trip, and I was able to fill them in on things and talk it out a bit. I met a friend for a walk in the garden, and that helped even more. M sent me little notes and photos and posts of things of interest to distract me and energize me. I tried to eat more. And sleep more. I failed at both, but it was worth a shot.

In the meantime I finished a big project at work, and advanced another, while holding down the fort on a couple more. I planned and executed a tenth birthday party to the exacting standards of said ten-year-old, and I tucked four small exhausted children into bed at just after midnight last night. The fifth not-so-small teenager put herself to bed with the door firmly shut long before the little ones.

I balanced all of the things for all of the minutes of all of the days, and only dropped a few of them. My head is tired, and needs a break. I found some of that in running today, and then cleaning. A little more of it in reminiscing about other birthday weekends as I cleaned and talked to the girls. A Friday afternoon party is sort of a logistical nightmare for an overworked mama, but the weekend unfolded this morning in a deliciously unstructured way, so no complaints on the flip side of it.

The little one is mad about an eight o’clock bedtime, but I’m standing firm. Sleep is a present, she just doesn’t realize that yet. It’s a gift I’d like to register for, thank you. She was so miffed she said she didn’t want me to read to her, so I left her to her own reading. She’s calling me now with an apology, she’s changed her mind, she’d like me to come back up and snuggle in. She’s still my little one, sleepy and warm in the crook of my arm.

saturday (summer)

Yesterday marked the start of summer, and I’m just so ready. We’ve never gone on a summer vacation before summer actually starts, but we planned our California trip early so that we could miss the summer crowds at many of the places we were visiting. There was something sort of exciting about wrapping up school and hopping directly onto a plane. But it meant the pace of May was even more frenetic than normal – and when we returned we were already in the middle of June, and it took several days just to wrap our heads around that concept.

The girls have a slightly calmer summer schedule this year. They are getting older, and are more self-sufficient, and camps get so expensive and require a lot of shuttling. So June is a pretty quiet month before they both do a few favorite summer camps in July. They’ve refused to get back on any sort of regular sleep schedule post-vacation. They continue to operate on Pacific Standard Time – and a late version of PST at that. 

If we’re Instagram friends, then you know that I brought home a nice allergic reaction to Pacific Coastal Red Oak – and I’m almost through two weeks of oral steroids to deal with it. It made for a few uncomfortably itchy days, but the weirdest side effect for me was the inability to sleep while on the steroids. I slept less than fifteen hours total the first week I was on them, but as I’ve tapered down, the sleep is returning. The upside was that they made me very productive and focused at work, which was certainly helpful after being out of the office for two weeks. If given the choice between the pros and cons, I’ll take good sleep any day.

I finished sorting through all of our vacation photos last night, and I have a few mini-photo projects still to work on. So instead of posting more trip photos, I thought I’d post these recent garden photos of poppies. We saw so many poppies in California, and they are really one of my favorite flowers. Seeing these photos in my files when I returned brought back a little of that vacation feeling. I’m holding onto as much of it as possible.

We’ve had so much rain, and the rivers are so high and flooding. Even in the gray, drippy mornings, these flowers seem to sing. When I see them, it feels like taking a deep breath, re-centering once again, a pause to watch in wonder at the structure of each bloom.

They’ve been just what I’ve needed in these weeks with a high-running motor, and the missing of long outdoor vacation days stretching ahead of me. They’ve reminded me that I can fit in walking and hiking and running into any day at all, anywhere that I happen to be.

saturday (home again, from california)

Golden Gate Bridge, from the Presidio

I know that I fill this page with garden photos on the regular, but I’m up late tonight – sorting through hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of photos, and I’ve already forgotten some that I took over two weeks ago. It’s like opening a gift to me – remembering all of those little tiny moments along the way that took my breath away. Thinking about how many times I stopped to really look at all the details, and then took off in a little sprint to catch up with the others. I’ve promised so many people that I will organize my notes and thoughts about both of our trips this year – and I promise that I will. But as I do put together the big picture, know that I’ll likely be sharing a lot of the little ones along the way as well. I know I missed a few Saturdays there in a row, but it was such a good break full of adventuring and wonder and awe. So here’s a very, very early Saturday post for a change. Home again, quiet house, full heart.

Golden Gate Park, Jurassic Garden
Golden Gate Park, Jurassic Garden
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Golden Gate Park, San Francisco Botanical Gardens
Palace of Fine Arts
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park, Conservatory of Flowers