I’ve been procrastinating, but that’s part of the problem. I’m like a strange blend of uber-getting-things-done-girl, and slacker queen. Once I’m off and running, I’m charging through the finish line before you know it. But just as often I’m standing at the starting line making excuses about what else I could be doing or should be doing.
I’m worst at making decisions to get things done that are just about me. There, I’ve said it. I’ve confessed.
It is much easier for me to tackle another load of laundry or throw all the toys up on the couch and vacuum the rug, or even to sort through photos for albums for others or make a toppling pile of Christmas cards than it ever is for me to pick up a book and read for pleasure, or drop everything and take a quick stroll around the block. I make up millions of excuses in my head, and this year I’m going to do my best not to default to those. I started making myself take twenty minutes for me each day. And before you start thinking I’m such a selfless person in perpetual service to others – let me dispel that myth. I’m not. But on a very, very personal level, I do not make myself a priority. I let my hair get too shaggy between cuts, I rarely escape to my room for a catnap, I never pick up a book and read a chapter to myself in front of my kids. And that extends to taking the time to exercise as well. It’s just so rare that we are all home together and hanging out (and awake) that I make a ton of excuses for not going.
It takes next to no effort for me to do this, and I’m quite sure everyone will survive without me for twenty minutes a day. They survive just fine without me while I’m working, or running errands, or showering, or baking, or ignoring them, right?
I guess the real “resolution” part of this is that I thought I might just record what I’ve done – to force myself to actually do it. I’m not sure if it will stick – the recording part – but I have found that I’ve needed and looked forward to the twenty minutes I’ve taken to myself over the last few weeks. I’m into a great book, I’ve squeezed in a bit of exercise, I’ve sat in a tub with a goal beyond getting myself clean. Baby steps, but I gotta take them. I’m just not the marathon-goal-setting type of gal. Twenty minutes – more my speed.